We Adopted a Teenager

(Another guest entry by Kim)

CJ’s adoption was finalized in court on Tuesday, September 9, 2014. We could not have asked for a lovelier experience on the big day.

CJ had wanted to keep the event low-key, i.e. not a big party with all our friends. We wanted to respect his wishes and keep the day about him. But as we neared the official date, he decided he wanted to invite three of his school friends (Jacob and twins Maggie and Andy), along with their parents. These two families have been a big part of CJ’s life this past year and have warmly welcomed him to the community, and we were so happy to have them be part of this occasion. We were also impressed that CJ decided to share his Adoption Day with his friends.

Also in attendance were CJ’s grandparents, Cathy and Bobby; CJ’s brother Liam and Liam’s mom/my friend Karen; CJ’s social worker Katy and his lawyer Garry; our social worker Maria; my sister Kara and her boyfriend Brian; and our good friends Jim and Eileen. Robin’s daughter and son, Miranda and Will, both took the day off work to be there (Miranda flying up from DC just for the day) and we are grateful to both of them for making this a very special family event.

In the courtroom, the super nice judge came down from the bench and sat with us at a table and talked to us about our lives and the adoption. She was full of appreciation for what we were doing, and remarked how nice it was to have a happy occasion in court. In a remarkably thoughtful touch, she gave CJ the gavel and instructed him how and when to use it to finalize his own adoption. I loved that. CJ was indeed happy and enthusiastic about the whole occasion, and his good spirits were contagious to everyone.

Talking with the judge in court

Should we be worried that after CJ’s adoption was decreed as “final and irrevocable,” he muttered to us, “You ain’t seen nothing yet!” ??????  Haha love that kid.

Family! Robin, Kim, Liam, CJ, Miranda, William (with judge in back)

Friends!

After court, our group of 20 went to a nearby restaurant for drinks, snacks, and cake. We had a little speaking program in which nearly everyone, including the youths, got up to wish CJ well, and said nice things about him and about us. We really felt the love! One doesn't get to be the center of attention very often in life, but we did enjoy it on this special day.

In a way Tuesday was just a formality. We first met CJ seventeen months ago, and since then we've been working on becoming a family. We’re pretty much an ordinary family now, albeit one in which the three members of the household have three different last names and the 13-year-old calls his parents by their first names. But I still get a hug every morning and every night at bedtime, and Robin is helping CJ with his algebra and shepherding him through his fall soccer season, and we’re trying to get him to brush his teeth without us having to remind him Every. Single. Time. It is all I hoped it would be, and more.

THANK YOU SO MUCH to all our friends and family who have given us your unconditional support, and opened your hearts to CJ, during this incredible process. Life is Good.  

Sudden Hearing Loss

Hello Readers,

This is Kim once again, "guest blogging" with an unfortunate new development in my life.

I have learned this week why it’s such a good thing that our bodies evolved with so many redundancies: two ears, eyes, limbs, etc. When you lose one, you still have the other! As many of my acquaintances know, I’ve been suffering from an “ear blockage” and deafness in my left ear for the past six weeks. On Monday I finally saw the ear specialist and my official diagnosis is SSNHL (sudden sensorineural hearing loss). She gave me the unwelcome news that I am now permanently deaf in my left ear.

I learned that the feeling of “blockage” had nothing to do with a head cold or trapped fluid in the ear; that there is no known cause for this condition, but it affects about 5 in every 100,000 people; and that the leading theory is that a virus causes inflammation of the inner ear, which destroys the nerve cells. Had I seen a specialist in the first two-four weeks, I would have been treated with steroids in an attempt to reduce the inflammation, which sometimes works. But although I first went to a CVS Minute Clinic and then my own nurse-practitioner in the first 12 days of my symptoms, neither of them referred me to a specialist immediately. My NP flagged the possibility and called Mass Eye and Ear Infirmary (MEEI) and they advised us that I should see a specialist, but the first available appointment was four-and-a-half weeks in the future. When I finally saw her, six weeks after the onset of my symptoms, she told me the hearing loss is untreatable and irreversible.

Now that we’ve read several articles about it (see links below), it is clear that anyone experiencing sudden hearing loss should go to a specialist or the ER immediately. But as the articles explain, this condition is actually so rare that few medical practitioners know how urgent it is to receive speedy treatment. And the symptoms are very similar to head colds or fluid blockages, which is what everyone thought I had. Those conditions are treatable or resolve themselves, and I was taking lots of decongestants, nasal sprays, etc. to try to clear the blockage when that was not my problem at all. Yes, I am feeling some anger and incredulity over how it happened that although I sought medical attention twice within the treatment window, and even had MEEI on the phone, I somehow never got advised to seek urgent treatment for sudden hearing loss.

Still, what’s done is done, and even if I had been treated, chances are iffy that it would have worked. I definitely had additional issues of vertigo the first week, and the articles say that hearing is recovered less often when those symptoms are present too. Sometimes one just gets unlucky, and that seems to have been my fate.

Enjoying London in February with one good ear!

As to where I go from here, I found out that hearing aids can’t help since amplifying sound, just to reach a non-functional nerve, would be futile. There is a type of “transmitter” they can implant in my skull on the left side, which would send sound over to my right ear, theoretically improving my ability to hear sounds from my left. The doctor says most people find this doesn’t help enough to be worth the effort, and that most make do with their one good ear, but it is something I can explore. I also asked what would happen should my right ear suffer the same fate. She said that was highly unlikely, kind of like being struck by lightning twice. SSNHL is almost always in one ear only, and chances of it happening to me again are 5/100,000. They told me at the doctor’s office that if I ever DO feel the slightest problem in my good ear, to rush immediately to the ER at Mass Eye and Ear. Also, no scuba diving, loud machinery, or rock concerts in my future – a “monaural” person has to keep their good ear as safe as possible.

Anyway, although it must be recognized that this is somewhat life-altering, (yeah, I can't hear a lot of stuff now), I am focusing on being grateful for my general good health and all my blessings. Robin and CJ are going to be very supportive and remember to talk to me in my good ear. I’m also feeling appreciative that here in the US the driver sits on the left side of the car, so my passenger can still talk to me (wouldn’t work if I were driving in England!). Thanks be for my good ear, as I’ll still be able to enjoy life “almost” to the fullest. I guess when I think back on the past six weeks, there have been some irritations and inconveniences, but life in general has gone on. I have much to look forward to.

Patient Guide Sudden Deafness

Washington Post article